Being in panties. The ones Ihad stolen from my mother. A growing collection siphoned from the laundryhamper. She'd have to notice at some point. I couldn't help it, I didn'thave a choice. I needed panties. I tried putting on my boy underwear, Ireally did. But I couldn't step out of my bedroom before feeling soguilty and scared of Daddy's disapproval. I had to rush back in and getinto panties like a good girl. And plus, they felt so god damned good.Hugging my clit and sack. Hairless. Smooth caress. Gripping my bottom. Or sliding into my crack. Panties practically were my crack, because Iwas addicted. And so, I didn't have a choice. I had to steal my mother's.Which also meant, I had to steal her dirty, worn panties.That my clit took on a feminine, pussyscented musk was hard to ignore, andI wasn't sure how I felt about it. I was pretty sure Daddy would laughabout it, but I also knew I didn't need his respect to have his affection.That was such a safe feeling.And they did. Let’s try to re-phrase that.”The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl.”“No, that still won’t work. Need something more acceptable.”They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite poultry farmer.”The accountant asks, “What does poultry farming have to do, with being a prostitute?”“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”Chartered Acct : “Brilliant!! ‘Poultry Farmer’ it is! and Agricultural Income is tax-free.”Twelve of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - “This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.”2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - “Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.”3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - “And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!”4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - “Ah, isn’t that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the.
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